Sunday Contentment

Long day. Grateful. Happy. Content. Sweet whispers of love and lots of hugs. Cleaned up an immense amount of crumbs. Lots of tiny, little grape jelly fingerprint smudges. Folded 3 loads of mens clothing. All various sizes. Grocery store. All of us. thanks to daddy insisting we "all go together...it will be fun..." hmmm. 2 carts. No, the "car" cart. No. The normal cart...Jack in the front- "Lance put Kempis in the bjorn and push it. Bakery is over here. Can someone give us a free cookie, please? Now! please. ok. Let's move. zoom. zoom...

Freezing rain today. I'm way too cold and I hate to wear socks so it's not a good combination to have. I'm ready for Spring to stay around for longer than a week. We had church at our house this morning. It was refreshing and surprisingly calm and Jack shared well. Once I heard him say under his breath as he was giving someone one of his toys..." it is always better to give it than to get it myself..." I'm not kidding. He really did. Freeze framed that one. Literally took a picture of that and tucked it under, "things that pay off when you repeat them 100 times a week". He then ofcourse leaned in to tell the visiting toddler that he could have the truck but could not have any of his donut. Baby steps. Lance and I tried to get a nap in downstairs but Jack decided that he wanted in on the group nap and  started to crawl up and plant his bony little bottum in between us thus eliminating me as part of the "nap" as I begrudgingly fell down the side of the couch.

"okay guys...it's hide n' go seek time...who's comin?" he shouts. Oh my. I think to myself he could not be any cuter. uhhhh....buddy mommy and daddy are tired and we are trying to nap. Why don't you go back upstairs and try to sleep AGAIN. But he insists. "2 more minutes of just being in-between my mommy and daaaadddy."  ok. 2 more minutes. which turned into 5 and then 10. Let's just say we all ended up playing hide n' go seek about 40 times this afternoon. And you'd think it would lose it's appeal when you run out of places to hide and always hide in the same 4 places... but no. It's as if it gets more hilarious each time. Kempis slept late til about 4- and as I'm nursing him he is saying "Da-Da...Da-Da..." No. I am not DaDa. I am MaMa....still working on that one. After all were nestled all snug in their beds...Lance and I dug into the brownies that I somehow snuck by Jack as they were cooking...and he made me some hot tea that as always ends up being "shared" tea. But I don't mind.  I am always a bit sad as Sundays draw to a close. Even if it is freezing outside-- I love Sundays. It could be the tube of Cinnamon rolls made fresh by Pillsbury every Sunday morning to help jump start the day. Maybe I should just make more of those through out the week. In fact, I'm quite sure I definitely should. Regardless, I am a lucky girl to have been so blessed with such sweetness and love and innocence that unravels with each day. Contentment, although a choice, is quite a lovely gift.

Oh Love that will not let me Go I rest my weary soul in thee...

"Jack... are you finished? Don't you want to eat a few more bites? You ate everything but the crust babe. Come on in here and finish up a bit...2 more bites. The crust is the best part for you buddy."  I wish I could report that the outcome of my encouraging words above resulted in a young toddler finishing the remains of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But I can not. The crust was swept away again down the garbage disposal. And it was there standing at the sink that I heard the faint whisper of God. "psssst. pssst. You know you do this to me too...the discipline of a walk with me requires hard work, sacrifice, solitude, prayer, fasting, meditation, and an attitude of your upmost for my highest...and although not the funnest part of our walk together-all necessary elements in order for us to grow with one another...you can not have the best of what I have to offer if you are not continually seeking me with your whole heart. You can not cut and paste my gospel. You can not take the bread without drinking the wine. The body and the blood. Stop trying to dispose of the crust which may appear dry and easily disregarded but is the most wholesome of all and contains the nutrients you will need to produce much fruit. Fruit that will last. 

Well. Thank you Holy spirit. Not at all how I expected to find myself in the middle of the day...more humbled than ever and most unworthy of my beloved's attention. Somehow it provoked me though. Compelled me to "stand against the devil's schemes" Ephesians 6:11. What a challenge for me. So I sighed...took a deep breath and began wiping the counter tops off and really scrubbing away at something that was not easily coming off....oh the lesson here was quite another story...for another day. Lessons of the Father's love seem to be everywhere.....

The Sounds of Silence...

I awoke to something unusual...I wasn't sure what the sound was. It was something I had heard before but it had been quite a while. As I opened my eyes and they adjusted to the light I could see the silhouette of Lance sitting in a small English style chair beside my bed. He was doing his devotions and the only light coming in the room was a small amount of "fresh morning" peeling it's way back through the green and yellow striped curtains. I was in a hotel room. The sound I was hearing was silence. Quiet. I had awoken from deep, uninterrupted sleep to the pureness of quiet. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. Lance looked towards me. He must have seen the disheveled look on my face. "How are you feeling?" he asked. I didn't respond. Just smiled at him. The truth of the matter was that I felt like a used up piece of gum that had lost its flavor. I was exhausted and sick. Cough, congestion, fever. I felt like my eyes weighed one hundred pounds. I needed oil in my lamp. I have come to discover that when your "the mom" it is not conducive for you to "get sick". It doesn't even do you any good to complain about it. Your empire must keep operating. 

We had had these plans for a romantic Valentines Day night away for months and then 1 week prior to our date...Jack gets a cough...then a fever...then a really bad cough...and all he wants to do is hug and kiss and cough on mommy. God love Him. I sure do. But I was not in the mood for germs. I put on my best Mr. Clean and treated the house with every disinfectant known to man. Lysol was sprayed on every hard surface. Humidifers were in everyone's bedrooms. Vitamin C was being taken with every meal. I was praying over myself so I might not get contaminated by the "bug". But 4 days before our first overnight stay since Kempis (7 months) was born-I felt the swords of the evil germs begin to attack my throat and come on with full force.  Despite my best efforts...I was getting sick. It was my turn. Despite the fact that I could have rescheduled our little over night stay...I refused. It is impossible to get away for an over night trip with your husband when you have 2 little humans and one still nursing. I would go even if my humidifer came with me. 

I could not get over the quiet of the morning...as I put in my contacts...brushed my teeth...put on some chap stick...I had accomplished three small tasks in 3 minutes or less. There was no screaming. There was no one bossing me around. No one demanding breakfast and then screaming that he didn't want what I so kindly prepared. No one telling me that he did not want daddy to wipe up his poopy...that was a job he specifically appointed mommy to do. There was no one yelling, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO mommy. YOU DON'T DO THAT. YOU COME HERE NOW MOMMY. I WANT TO WATCH A VEGGIE TALE MOMMY. I NEED MILK MOMMY. I MEAN, I NEED JUICE MOMMY. I DON'T WANT TO GET DRESSED MOMMY. I DON'T WANT THAT MOMMY. I DON'T WANT THAT. NO-I DON'T WANT YOGURT MOMMY. I WANT OATMEAL. NO I DON'T WANT OATMEAL. NOT THIS KIND OF OATMEAL MOMMY. NO DON'T PUT THE RAISINS IN THE OATMEAL MOMMY. I WANT THEM ON THE NAPKIN BESIDE THE OATMEAL. ARE YOU DRINKING COFFEE MOMMY? IS IT HOT? DO YOU LIKE IT? CAN I HAVE SOME? WHAT ARE YOU EATING MOMMY? A BISCOTTI? WHAT IS THAT, IS THAT A COOKIE MOMMY? CAN I HAVE SOME? I KNOW! CAN I HAVE A COOKIE MOMMY? LET'S HAVE COOKIES TOGETHER. CAN YOU PUT SOME OF YOUR COFFEE IN MY CUP MOMMY? ARE YOU SICK MOMMY? DOES YOUR TUMMY HURT? DO YOU NEED TO POOPY MOMMY? LET'S GO SOMEWHERE MOMMY. LET'S GO SOMEWHERE TODAY. WHERE ARE WE GOING TODAY MOMMY? LET'S WATCH A VEGGIE TALE. I DON'T WANT TO READ A BOOK. I WANT TO PLAY WITH PLAYDOH MOMMY. NO, I WANT TO GO OUTSIDE MOMMY. I WILL PUT MY COAT ON IF IT'S COLD MOMMY. I CAN'T GO OUTSIDE?! BUT I WANT TO GO OUTSIDE. I'LL GO FOR JUST A LITTLE BIT, OK MOMMY? MAYBE? FOR JUST A LITTLE BIT. CAN I HAVE A POPSICLE MOMMY? NOOOO? WHY??? IT'S TOO EARLY? WHEN CAN I HAVE A POPSICLE MOMMY? HOW ABOUT NOW MOMMY? A POPSICLE NOW? DADDY CAN HAVE ONE TOO. I WILL PICK ONE OUT FOR DADDY AND ONE FOR KEMPIS AND ONE FOR ME. OK? OK MOMMY. DADDY AND KEMPIS ARE HUNGRY FOR POPSICLES FOR BREAKFAST. OK. GET THEM OUT OF THE FRIGERATOR MOMMY AND I WILL TAKE IT TO THEM. 

MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU GOING MOMMY?!!!!!!!!!

no. this morning was quite different. I have to admit it was relaxing. i was able to hear myself think and we walked to breakfast on the plaza and i actually finished my coffee without microwaving it 12 times. This morning I held my husbands hand while crossing the street and felt the crisp morning air kiss my nose and eyelashes. This morning I remembered what it felt like to be a lady...to wear my sassy shoes with little belts across the toes and a tiny heel. I winked at my husband from across the breakfast table and I remembered how much I adore him and enjoy his company. His voice. His eyes. I loved him.  I loved every morsel of who he was. Three years ago...before kids...I definitely did not appreciate mornings like this one. We use to travel all the time. But I have gained a new appreciation for him.  A new appreciation for "us". Our growing family....But despite being sick and exhausted...by noon i was ready for my glorious chaotic noise to return.  His little 2 year old smile was all I needed to see. 

Sick and Tired!

I have never been more ready for Spring! Between the coughing and the aching and the teething and the sore throats and the $$$ spent on Kleenex- I am ready for healthy kids and a healthy momma!